Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
