Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
