im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
