Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
