i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
