My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
