I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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