i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize