Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
