i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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