I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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