there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize