Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize