I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
