my phone needs a breathalizer
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
