i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
