Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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