I feel great
I just peed on a car
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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