so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
