i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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