I just made out with a guy for $7.
the condom got lost in my hair
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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