Banned from zoo.
Again?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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