I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize