I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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