Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
