Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
