somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
