I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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