Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize