At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
