Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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