So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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