If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
