ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
