Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
