Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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