What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize