Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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