i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
