Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she peed on how many people?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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