I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
