dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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