you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
