he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
