I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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