Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
