wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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