that's an acceptable place to lick
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
