I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
