I want to make a zoo with you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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