apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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