I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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