were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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