We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize