This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
