We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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