But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize