Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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