And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
