this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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