Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
