I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
