i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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