looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
