"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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