I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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