I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
