You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize