so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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