She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He passed out mid-signature
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
