Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
