did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
