yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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