I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
