i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
