My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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