So drunk its hurt
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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