Non-Jews are for practice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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