I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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