dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize