I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
